It`s a Fact: CG.Drama is Dying.

I talked to Joyce last night and I realized just how bad a leader I am. I love drama and I want it to exist, but I don't know if I can lead it. I do my best, yet fail. I try so hard to find relevance but none of it works.

I'm sitting here, looking at the coming year. I've already thought about this for awhile and the ideo that no one wants to be in drama makes me sad. When I think about how our youth view arts in the church, it makes me sad.

Let me clarify that. I'm sad because I see so much potential in the kids. I see so many ways that God can really use them if they would just trust in him. They're so caught up in what's being produced and missing the forest of the trees.

While talking, we came to the subject of what makes CG.Drama different than a secular drama team. Pragmatically, there's nothing different. But just like a lot of things, the difference is in the people.

Pastor Tim gave a message about being a Christian wrestler at Wheaton. What makes wrestling at Wheaton different than wrestling for a secular college? It's the motivation and the attitude that the wrestlers have. In the same way, That's how I approach drama in the church.

As Christians, our primary occupation is to glorify God. That can be through worship or any number of things. You glorify him by being obedient and following his precepts. You glorify him by sharing the gospel. You glorify him by singing praises. You glorify him by doing your best in all things. You glorify him by not complaining. Thus, even a non-believer can glorify God in these respects.

Being a Christian is what spereates CG.Drama from secular drama. We have this tremendous freedom to do interesting dramas. Some of these dramas will be effective and engage the audience. Some of them will be crappy and no one will like it. But we try to focus on the good. We try to see what has worked and what hasn't and to move forward and try to make improvements.

Probably the biggest difference is that we are not concerened about the bottom line. Yes, we have a budget, a small one that we have to work within. But we don't care about how many tickets we sell or how packed the house is.

We're also not concerned about the audience's reaction. The secular team is focused on how well they perform and if they "touched" the audience. As Christians, we know that our performance doesn't actually do anything. It is God's spirit that touches peoples hearts. If you really believe that, then we can perform anything for the glory of God.

So, I am in crisis. Joyce has caused my world to fall apart and stripped away the little hope I had left. I don't blame her for it. But it's caused me to rethink this whole drama thing. Right now, I'm thinking about taking a year off from drama, letting it die, and try to rebuild it later. I don't know if this is the best course of action and the only thing I can do is to really pray about it and do what I think God wants me to do.

At the same time, I want to persevere. To not give in to defeat and try to keep the team alive as much as I can. If this entails that I'm the only one in drama, so be it. Of course I would like a good sized team. But I also understand it's not about what I want. What if I'm just being blind? What if God is telling me to give up and put my energies toward something else?

I don't know.

I don't know.