high school sux

Salon.com Life | One strike and you're out of school:

"'If we had to do it all over again, I might've said, 'Just keep silent,'' says Hastings. 'We trusted [the school]. We're used to going in and talking to a teacher about how our kid is doing. But they weren't interested in him at all.'"

and i thought high school was bad in my day. i remember when i threatened some kids on a bus on the trip back from great adventure physics day. it was a bunch of dorky play people and they were singing not only horrendously, but loudly as well. i wanted to get some rest, which they were keeping me from doing. i stood up and screamed at them. i threatened that i'd bring in a gun and fill them full of holes. of course, post columbine, they took all this stuph seriously.

they threatened to kick me out of school if i didn't go to counseling. since i only had to go once, it wasn't a big deal for me. i was actually seriously considering just not going to school for the last few weeks. i was a senior and it was near the end of the year anyway.

in the end, mainly from the urging of my mom, i went to counseling. it was dumb. kids get angry all the time. people get angry all the time. threats are usually the first thing that people try to do to "solve" problems. and often times, violence is the only solution.

my teacher knew me, and knew that it was just anger manifesting itself. but he had no choice but to turn me in. i didn't hold it against him because he expressed this to me.

i can only imagine what would happen to me now if i did that. what about the "goals" list i had, where i listed about 20 names of people i wanted to kill. or how about the different theories and plans i had to kill as many people as i could. or the suicidal poetry that i wrote everyday in class instead of actually doing work.

in the end, it's not an issue of addressing the symptoms, because that never works. you have to address the problem, which is the way high school is run altogther. they teach you evolution and that that is all there is. the natural conclusion is horrific and results in a lot of the high school angst most kids have.

what do you do to address hopelessness and despair? what do you do to counter the impending doom of a future that is cyclic and uninviting. w/ everything that's happening around you, doesn't the prospect of just ending it all for the hope of nothing afterwards freeing? and if you're going to die anyway, why not take a whole bunch of other people with you? it's not like they can kill you for your crimes.

it's no wonder columbine and other school shootings happen. it's not the music, it's not the video games. it's the school system itself.

God gives us hope and an option. He tells us that we are more than the sum of our genes. that we are worth more than the chemicals and raw materials our bodies are made of. that no matter how bad things are and how desperate the times, He knows and cares.

God says that you can break the cycle. you don't have to follow the rudimentary rules and plans that the rest of the world tries to shove down your throat. you are free to make choices, to be who you are, to be who He made you to be. xznanity is the true rebellion and counter-culture. xznanity is the new anarchy. it doesn't tempt you with the prospects of power, fame or wealth. rather, it offers you worth, security, comfort, and joy.