lusting after the mall girl

These past 2 days have been really hard for me. Ever since I got home last night, I've been thinking about the girl from Nordstrom's. It's so rare that I oogle at girls at malls or in public, that I hadn't noticed it until today. And ever since, the thoughts have been permeating my mind. The desire to please myself physically is so hard to fight. My body is so hooked on the hormones and chemicals released from sexual pleasure. But so far, I haven't stumbled yet.

I've been offering up small prayers every so often to try and stem the attacks of the evil one, but still, they come. I feel as if my heart is about to explode and is being crushed by a vice all at the same time. I've been reciting scripture to myself, but I'm still feeling very weak. It's as if there are 2 minds inside me. Even as I write this, theres another mind of mine having my way with her.

But God has been good. He's given me good friends and good support. I can feel everyone's prayers sustaining me. All the encouragement has given me the strength to stop thinking about pleasing myself. Yet, the thoughts are still there. My mind is tired from fighting it and my body is in a constant state of arrousal.

Please Lord God, free me from this torement. Forgive me for the sin of my flesh. Help me not give into my own desires, to adulterate Your temple. Let me treat my sister with absolute purity. For I have made a covenant with my eyes, my hands, and my body. I know that you will not tempt me beyond more than I can handle, but I am brought to the brink of all I can take. Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. You are greater than this world. You have already conquered sin and Your Spirit dwells within me continuing Its good work.

Thank you Lord for all your grace and mercy. For your death and sacrifice so that I may be free of my sins. That I am no longer a slave to my flesh but a slave to your righteousness.